“The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.”
– C.C. Scott
In September 2018, I was diagnosed with stage 2 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma… Breast Cancer. My tumor went from the size of a marble to a tennis ball in less than six weeks. There is no way you can prepare for a shock like this; all you can do is make the best of it and push through.
Cancer
Stubborn
Brains
Section
Gratitude
Cancer
“While Cancer is life-changing, it is not LIVE-ending.”
In September 2018, I was diagnosed with stage 2 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma… Breast Cancer. My tumor went from the size of a marble to a tennis ball in less than six weeks. There is no way you can prepare for a shock like this; all you can do is make the best of it and push through.
Everyone knows what Breast Cancer is, but the actual processes around it are often a mystery. So, I made it my mission to educate and share. From day one, I have been open and vocal about the steps, the emotional rollercoaster, the side effects, the bad days, and the good. Being so public has been part of my healing process, and I was determined that if I was going to go through this someone else would benefit.
I started creating posts that were intended to evoke emotion, create a lasting impression, and drive women to go get tested. I started my updates almost immediately after my diagnosis with one goal in mind: to prove that while it is life-changing, breast cancer is not necessarily live-ending.
It worked.
Almost 50 women either told me or shared their testing with me. Nine of them I had more discussions because they had some additional testing that was required. One woman in particular still hits home for me. When she got a positive diagnosis that could’ve been missed otherwise. She is alive and healthy to this day.
Stubborn
“Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you’ve ever been, to stand up taller than you ever were.”
There is no good time in your life to have health issues, and this was no exception. I’m a single parent, had lost my job and was only a few weeks into getting my Master’s Degree at The University of Kansas.
In those first 2 years I juggled school, teenager, chemo every third week, radiation treatments and over a dozen surgeries between double mastectomy and beginning reconstruction. I attribute my ability to go through all this to my friends and the admin staff at KU. Without them I wouldn’t have graduated and really been a cancer thriver.
I made it through because of a few close bonds and art/baking therapy. On any given Friday (we had no classes) I made it a point to paint or my second love, baking. There was something incredibly soothing about having a little control and just creating.
You might think this is where my story ends, all triumph and successful survivor story. I was victorious! I beat breast cancer! I saved lives! The problem is that cancer doesn’t end when treatment does, the echoes and side effects live on to ravage our bodies and forever change you. I knew I had a lot of work to do to find what doctors call the “new normal.”
Brains
“No matter what the statistics say, there is always a way.”
– C.C. Scott
– C.C. Scott
We all know what happened in late 2019/2020. The virus will always be seared into our memories, but quarantine wasn’t a big life change for me. I was used to being home, masked and keeping a very close eye on my health. It was this close eye that that sent me to the doctor again after 7 days of waking up with migraine headaches that left me dizzy.
November, 2020 they found the cause for my headaches. The cancer was back, but this time it was in my brain. At first, I was really mad about losing my hair AGAIN (I had just gotten it manageable). I automatically went back into fight mode, and tried to start making plans to do it all over again when the doctor interrupted me. I hadn’t realized the full scope of the issue. I don’t remember his specific words, but he got the point: I had 3 to 6 months to live if the chemo worked, and 4-6 weeks with no treatment.
Leptomeningeal carcinoma is rare, and there is no cure. LMC is a complication of cancer where the disease spreads from the original tumor site to the layers of tissue and fluid that cover and protect the brain and spinal cord. My tumor is in the Cerebellum. This particular part of the brain controls balance, coordination, mental function and speech. I jokingly tell people that I’m my own personal funhouse, but it’s not far from the truth on some days!
But wait, there is more!
Section
“Life is not the’ calms in the storm, but the storm itself. How we weather the storm is how well we lived.”
– Michelle Farnsworth
– Michelle Farnsworth
I went back to life as normal as possible, finally thinking beyond a month at a time. No news is good news, but in May 2022 I found out the tumor had spread into another part of my brain. A focused, high dose of radiation treatment was prescribed. Fortunately the new treatment worked and I press on.
While my prospects are limited, I have shown mostly positive results thus far. There is no cure. I am considered terminal and limited on the time I have left, but aren’t we all? At the end of the day, it’s not fair but what is? Life is not the calms in the storm, but the storm itself. How we weather the storm is how well we lived.
Gratitude
“I am not grateful for cancer, but I am grateful for what it has taught me… to live.”
– Michelle Farnsworth
I went back to life as normal as possible, finally thinking beyond a month at a time. No news is good news, but in May 2022 I found out the tumor had spread into another part of my brain. A focused, high dose of radiation treatment was prescribed. Fortunately the new treatment worked and I press on.
While my prospects are limited, I have shown mostly positive results thus far. There is no cure. I am considered terminal and limited on the time I have left, but aren’t we all? At the end of the day, it’s not fair but what is? Life is not the calms in the storm, but the storm itself. How we weather the storm is how well we lived.
I am not grateful for cancer, but I am grateful for what it has taught me. To live.